Sunday, December 31, 2017

Three Fifty Eight/Three Sixty Five

As a parent
there are plenty of days
that you look forward to
and
other days that you
foresee as
...bittersweet and melancholy...


Your baby turning 18
is one of those times.
You see it out there
on the horizon
but
he's just this
itty-bitty baby
with eczema and cradle cap
crying all night
wanting to be
held
and
left alone
all at the same time
teething
allergies
night terrors
then
trains
cars
blocks
legos
Halloween costumes
and
baking

18
is
a
long
ways
...away...

and then
there's
T-ball

and
Kindergarten

which brings
...a new set of
tears and bittersweet...
but
18?
That's still
years
decades
miles
away

more baseball
legos
drawing
school
friends
xbox
guitar hero
puppies

running
climbing
field trips

and then
comes
Junior High
football
and

trumpet

banquets
Chinese class
and
High School
and
girlfriends
and
jobs
and
friends
cars
driving

and
you can see it
inching
closer
and
suddenly
it's as if
someone
slammed
on
the
accelerator
because
BAM!

You slam into it
full force.

Eighteen.
It's gone by
in the blink
of an eye
and
you still see
your baby
and
want to hold him
in your arms
but
right before you
stands this
grown man
with
facial hair
and
a deep voice
who thinks
he can
strong-arm
the world
into doing what he wants
and
you hope
so desperately
that
all the wisdom
from all the years past
that you've tried
...to instill...
has
somehow
somewhere
someway
planted and rooted
itself
within
that frontal lobe
and
this young man
that is
so
intelligent
funny
independent
goofy
creative
sporty
technically inclined
artistic
is full of
ideas
and dreams
and hopes
of his own
and
all the
worries
doubts
fears
cram themselves into your
brain
and
heart
and
you want to clutch at
your man-child
grab ahold
and not let go
because
he's your baby
he's not ready for
this big mean world

Then you look closer
and
see that
he has wings
and
is itching to fly
has been flying
attempting 
to
leave the nest
wants to spread his wings
and
do life
his way
on his own terms
his own timing
and so
you let go
and
watch
with
tearful
bittersweet
proud
eyes
and
squishy heart
as this baby
who is now
...a man...
goes out into this world

To my son...
I love you
with
my whole heart
I'm more proud
than you could ever know
You've walked through
some tough situations
and have come out
on top

You
willingly take risks
...open to the...
mistakes
learning
from each one

You
face life
with
such an open mind
and
heart

You are
going to do
great things

Happy 18th Birthday!
Keep the Faith
Keep looking up
Keep moving forward
Love,
Mom


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