He always
gets
the
short end of the stick
since
his birthday
is
Christmas Eve
I remember his
"birth"
day
rather vaguely
...my memories are a little clouded...
He was due on 12/17/99
He decided to be late
My doctor wanted
...to schedule me for an induction...
but
ironically
there was nothing available
until
Christmas Eve
I arrived at the hospital
with my mom
very early
to start
the drip
and
I remember
the contractions came on
light and slow
but
eventually
they regulated
and got stronger
Finally
I needed
requested
wanted
an
epidural
for the pain
The anesthesiologist arrived
and
it took him
no less than
FIVE
sticks
...5 attempts...
to
"find the epidural space"
((if you're a mom, then you know
that getting the epidural
is
a "sticky" situation
you have to stay still
scrunched up
hold your breath
all the while
your body is
contracting
beyond belief
and this dude
is
sticking
a 9-foot needle
in your spine))
He said he finally
connected
and then
left the room
but
...I...
was still
feeling
each and every
contraction
they had me turn on my side
but
all too soon
Michael
was ready to
make his appearance
and with
a few quick pushes
There he was
in all his glory.
He was 9 pounds
and
21 inches long
My entire pregnancy with him was rocky.
I wondered
...as a lot of moms do with their successive pregnancies...
if it was possible
to love another baby
as much as
I loved my first
because
...as most moms know...
the love that you are overcome by
with your firstborn
is
overpowering
and
unbelievably enormous
filling your
whole heart
until it explodes
In the first trimester,
at three months,
I passed a blood clot
but
there was still a heartbeat
so my doctor wasn't concerned
At 5 months, I bled more
and again
there was a heartbeat
and in the ultrasound
(other than excessive fluid)
my baby
appeared fine
From month 5 to month 9
I continued to
have contractions
and
spot blood
but
the doctor didn't seem concerned
and put me on light duty
but
not bed rest
When I was in labor
going through the
...multiple sticks for my epidural...
my water broke
and then
a second bag of water broke
a little later on
We concluded that perhaps
I had started the pregnancy with twins
and one did not make it.
This child of mine
born on Christmas Eve
19 years ago
is
full of life
and
energy
and goodness
and
love
he is
precious
and
concerned
and
perceptive
and
intuitive
He wants the world
and
is attempting to go out
and take it
He dreams big
and
plays hard
He is my 19-year-old
Christmas present
and
I discovered
that
...indeed...
I did have enough love
it's like
I grew a second heart
the day he was born
and it was filled to the brim
enormously
and
overpoweringly
in exactly the same way
and also
exactly different
from my firstborn
Michael,
you've heard it
a thousand times before
and you'll hear it
a gazillion times more
but
I am so very proud of you
and
who you have grown into
I love you
more than you know
and
I pray that
2019
is
Your Year!
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