This morning, I sat in my living room with my cup of coffee,
...in the dark...
Watching the lightning.
Listening to the thunder.
Contemplating.
...and the main theme of my ponderings was...
...why?
So much change. Lots of things left unspoken.
And there I sat. Asking God, "why?"
Because I don't believe God allows
anything into our lives
...without a purpose...
He won't waste anything.
But lately, circumstance upon circumstance,
I cannot figure out His purposes.
Obviously, He is molding my character...
...deepening my trust in Him...
...widening my faith...
...sharpening my wisdom...
...teaching me from my mistakes...
...using the storm...
What I don't understand is...
why won't I learn?
...why am I so hardheaded that...
...I would need these lessons repeated...
I want a teachable heart.
I want a spirit of integrity.
I want a trust that runs so deep...
...that I don't have to wrestle...
...over decisions that He makes...
...because I know that He knows what is best...
He knows beginning and end.
He knows things I don't know.
And in my head.
I know.
He wants what is best for me.
Like a parent with a child.
The child who is crying in the store
because she can't have the cute pair of shoes she wants...
...when the parent has already gotten her the entire outfit.
The child who is kicking her feet...
...throwing a fit...
because her parent said, "just wait..."
And later, I always find out He was right to begin with.
I should have trusted Him.
This season of my life...
I want a teachable heart.
I want to learn the lesson.
I want it written upon my heart.
Hugs. Praying for you.
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