He was
a
psychologist
a quiet
introspective
man
who
gathered info
by
...observing...
and
I
learned by
observing him
He was full of
encouragement
and
grace
He always had
a kind word
an uplifting thought
to offer
and
He never let me forget
that he was
proud of me
...Lately, though...
I see all the mistakes I've made
in my life
in the lives of my children
in choices I have made
and
I fear
I've let him down...
Sometimes
I wish
I would have listened
...more...
to his advice
his wisdom
I didn't appreciate him
while he was alive
I knew it all
and
his additional thoughts
were
...cramping my style...
I miss him
...terribly...
I miss his
...assessment...
of any given
situation
I miss his
encouragement
I miss his
grace
I miss his
wisdom
because
I find myself needing it
more than ever
Sometimes
it feels like
life
is crashing in
on me
...the weight of carrying it all...
maintaining my household
as a single mom
financially
physically
parentally
singly
is a struggle
at best
and
trying to make it
to put one foot
in front of
the other
some days
...is all...
I can accomplish
I know he would be here
fixing
all of these
...things...
that
even you-tubing
won't fix
My kids
miss him
in the same way
I do
his encouragement
his acceptance
his great love
his laughter
his quiet nature
I feel sad
that he isn't here
to see them...
...what they
have grown into
but also
to give them
grandfatherly advice
when I
am
...absurdly angry...
with them
And
I love my mom
...she puts forth so much effort
trying to
make up for
...Dad...
not being here
anymore
she misses him
a great deal more
than we do
her constant
...movement...
coming
going
fixing
sharing
cooking
cleaning
to-do lists
providing for
all of us
his kids
grandkids
to fill the void he left
and
the space between
when he left this earth
and when we will
unite with him again
My dad was, is
a great man
They say
with time
the pain
of losing someone
subsides
and you just
kind of
make room for it
and
I can say that,
while, yes, that is true...
...it's also true
that you miss them
so very much more
in the passing years
because
you realize
what their absence
truly means
We
love you
Dad
Papaw
Pappy
and
we miss you.
Happy Father's Day
...until we see you again...
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