Saturday, January 31, 2015

#31/365--Wrestling

...literally...

#30/365--Disappointment

It comes in
...different forms...
at
...different times...
in
...different ways...
in
...all seasons of life...
Disappointment.

Maybe you forgot
...to take your picture for the day...
or
your plans got cancelled
or
your Love
...walks away...

Maybe
...you don't have enough money...
for that vacation
or
you might be
...disappointed...
in
a bad decision
you
...or your child...
made

Maybe
...your iPhone...
quit working
and
you lost all your
...precious photos...
or
Perhaps
you didn't
get that job
you wanted
or
it didn't snow
...like the weatherman promised...

You may feel
...disappointment...
for someone else
...and generally...
you can separate yourself
from someone else's
defeating situation

but

when it is your child's
...disappointment...
it weighs heavy
on your heart.
You want to take it away
make it better
give him hope
encourage her

and

words seem so
...small...
and
...insignificant...
especially when
it seems like
the only
...news...
they get
...lately...
is
...a letdown...

When
shoulders sag
face is fallen
and
he says
"I don't want to talk about it"
you sense
the
...disillusionment...
...disenchantment...
...dissatisfaction...
...disheartened...
...discouragement...
dismayed
defeated
dejected-ness

you know
your child
has
hoped
for this
one thing
and
you, too,
have hoped
because
as their parent
you are
their
...biggest cheerleader...

You just
...knew...
it would
come to pass
that
finally
this one thing
would
restore the balance
renew
reawaken
revive
and
perhaps even
...reconcile...

When
your child
places
so much expectation
into something
that it
far exceeds
reality

How do you
...in all wisdom...
restore
their hopes
and
dreams
lift
their spirit
renew the
...ambition...
...endurance...
...motivation...
...faith?

That is where I am today.
Lately.
Struggling with disappointment
...after disappointment...
and
...here I am...
...pressing into God...
trying to
...find the good...
in the journey
because
we are blessed
beyond belief

It's hard to place hope
in things
...unseen...
it's much easier
to hope in the tangible
...the present...
the
here and now
immediate gratification

Jesus tells us that
"...in this life, we will have suffering..."
but that we are to 
"have faith...because he has overcome
this world..."

and really
"disappointment"
...in this case...
doesn't compare
with what
"suffering"
is

We have.
We have a lot.

love
security
a home
our health
intelligence
education
freedom
food on the table
food in the fridge
clothing
...laying all over the place...
our favorite shows on t.v.
devices that give us
...immediate...
communication with
...each other...
and
...information...
at the touch
of a screen

We have
our faith in Jesus
salvation
our five senses
so we can
...see the sunrise...
...hear the music...
...smell the cookies...
...feel the warmth of a hug...
...taste the coffee...
...and...
...sense the love...
amidst life's
disappointments

Perhaps
...herein...
lies the answer to my question
of
...how to restore hope...

we lean into
...each other...
we lift our
eyes unto the Lord
we confess our
...obstacles and setbacks...
to God
and
to each other
until
God moves on our behalf
in a way
that only He can
in a way
that we can see Him
in a way
that we can feel Him

we encourage each other
...reminding each other...
of our
blessings
and
that
...we are loved...
in spite of
...how Life makes us feel...

"Do not be anxious about anything
but in all things,
with thanksgiving,
present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends
understanding
will guard your hearts and your minds
in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers,
whatever is true
whatever is honorable
whatever is just
whatever is pure
whatever is lovely
whatever is commendable
if there is any excellence
if there is anything
worthy of praise
think about these things."
Phil. 4: 6-8

Pray
Thank the Lord
and
Count your blessings

My blessings?

...these two nuts...
and
I aspire to
instill in them

the hope of
Christ

the blessing of
faith

the strength of
perseverance

in the face of
Life's
disappointments






#29/365--Lyrics


Wednesday, January 28, 2015

#28/365--Clouds

Don't they
...appear...
to be moving
...quickly...
in this pic?
Today was so beautiful
...a spring day...
in the middle of
...Winter...
and
even though
I'm longing for
...a snow day...
with
lots and lots
of the
...deep, white fluff...
it felt good
to
...breathe deep...
under these
...fluffy whites...

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

#27/365--Labors of Love


...see that freshly ironed...
...bow-tie wearing...
young man?
and
also

see that broken - cell - phone - having
cutie pie
on the left?

I hope they know
...their mama...
loves them

Sunday, January 25, 2015

#25/365--Statement of Intent

Assignment #2
...my...
Statement of Intent
...what is my purpose for writing...
...why do I write...
"I hope
because of my writing
...people...
find the good in the journey
are encouraged in their faith
and feel
...connected..."

...and...
as you can see
part of my assignment
was to create
...a list...
of future
topics and titles

I am still
...fighting...
that internal voice
that keeps saying
"Who do you think you are, anyway?"
and
"Why do you think what you have to say
...matters to anyone...?"
but
in all honesty

I write
what I write
because

...well...

it's just the stuff
...that goes through my head...
and
if you relate
then
you relate
and
...that's good...
because
I wanna relate
...and...
see the good in the journey
...and...
be encouraged in my own faith
...and...
connect

Friday, January 23, 2015

#23/365--Magic Tricks


...someone...
didn't want me
to go to bed

"Who goes to bed...
at 10
on Friday..."

...uh...
well
I would have gone
...earlier...
little
magic
punk
....

Thursday, January 22, 2015

#22/365--Sandy

...waiting...
...ever so patiently...
for me
...to wake...
the children

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

#21/365--Fill 'er Up

...chivalry...
is
not
dead

...it may be floundering around...
...on the floor...
about to
...kick the bucket...

but
it's not
...quite...
dead
yet

#20/365--Average

What does
...average billing...
mean
...to you??

To me
...it means...
your
"Provider"
averages out your bill
...so that...
what you pay
...each month...
is
...pretty equal...
and
you aren't paying more
...in the summer...
versus
...the winter...

However,
MY
...Provider...
sees it differently

Each month,
I get these emails
...one that says...

and
a few days later
...another email that says...

...what would you do?

You,
being the responsible
...person...
that you are,
would probably
...login...
to your account
...to figure out...
the
discrepancy
but
...we are not talking about you...
we are talking
...about me...
and
I
simply thought
"oh, ok...they must have gotten something wrong"

so
...what do I do?

I pay the lower amount
because
...who wouldn't??

After all,
the email does say
"This is a reminder that
your XXX Energy
electricity
BALANCE
of..."

What exactly
...does "balance" mean...

in reference to definitions
2, 5, and 6
I
...personally...
take it to mean
my
BALANCE
is
...what I have LEFT to pay...
on the account

However...
I was
...sorely mistaken...
because
...you see...
The way
...my "Provider"...
sees it
is that
they are giving me
...a choice...
to pay
A) the actual amount
or
B) the "average" amount
and
what I was told yesterday
is
even though
I
pay my bills
on time
and
have not missed
...a single payment...
...but...
because
I
...involuntarily...
chose option "B"
that left
...a remaining...
BALANCE
that
...my Provider...
was billing me for
and
...get this...
they
mailed notifications to me
...not once...
...not twice...
but

...wait for it...

three times
a) first notification
b) my warning that it was late
and
c) a shut off notice

which they sent to

...wait for it...

the temporary
...apartment...
the kids and I lived in
after the fire

...wait for it...

where we
HAVE NOT
lived
nor
had electricity
at that address
for
ONE and a HALF
years.

Are you feeling my pain yet?

Michael and I
walked in the house
...to...
no power
at first
we thought
it was just an outage
but
after I called to report it
...the automated service...
...informed me...
that
my "Provider"
had shut off my power
and
I needed to
...contact them...
to get it
...restored...

wait.  what?

I spent
...34 minutes...
on the phone
with
...said "Provider"...
((after having to pay
...the "late" amount...
...the discrepancy between...
my bills))

...you would not have liked...
...this side...
...of me...

and
...there are many more...
details
but
suffice to say
my electricity
was turned back on
during that conversation
within
15 minutes
and
I
will be changing
..."Providers"...


Monday, January 19, 2015

#19/365--Half-Way Point

The school year is halfway over!
The kids had the day off
but
I had to be
...Professionally Developed...

Being the dutiful mom
...that I am...
I left

...the children...

a list of things
to do
which included
cleaning
...this mess...
...off my...
...kitchen counter-top...

How does that happen?

Do you have a counter-top like that?
The one that
...collects...
all the discarded
...items...
that you don't
want to hold on to
or
put away yet

so
you just lay it down
"on the counter"
and
oddly
when you say
"it's on the counter"
they know
...exactly...
where you are talking about
but
when that counter is cleaned off
you just can't seem to
...find anything...

#18/365--Cost-Benefit Analysis

Grounding your child
...or more to the point...

-- what to ground your child from --

can produce
...a multitude of responses...
that range from
mild-mannered
quiet acceptance
to
long-drawn-out
kicking and screaming

yes
even
teenagers

you have to weigh your options
Is it worth it?
Does he/she deserve it?
Will they learn from it?
Will I learn from it?
What am I teaching him/her?

because
sometimes
the tantrums
-- especially teenager tantrums --
are simply
too much to bear

...and they know that...
...which is why...
they throw the fit
in the first place

it's some sort of
...game...

...to...
yank at your heartstrings
(you mean old mom...
...it's not fair...)

push you to your limits
(how many times...
...can I beg to use my electronics...
...before she lets me use them...)

and
test the boundaries
(how many times can I act this way...
...before I make Mom's head spin...
...and vomit spew out of her mouth?)

...somehow it's harder...
dealing with
...the Terrible Teens...

But, rest assured
they
eventually
...acquiesce...

and
quietly sit down
to play
...literal games...
with you


...and this...
unplanned
...family time...
far out weighs
those
temporary
...outbursts...

...until...
the next round
#standyourground




Saturday, January 17, 2015

#17/365--Good Talk

Sometimes
you set goals
for yourself
and
they seem
nearly
impossible
...to reach...

life gets in the way
every
time

but
today
I spent
about an hour
...walking...
with
a dear friend
...catching up...
ranting
raving
venting
sharing
chatting
talking
blabbering
blubbering
...good quality time...
time well spent

...killing two birds...
with
one
stone

...hitting two goals...
with
one
activity
Goal 1:  more quality time with my people
Goal 2:  exercise at least ONCE - a - week

...check...
(it's a walk/jog/bike trail
thus the straight path)

and
...check...
(seriously, with my hair?)


Tuesday, January 13, 2015

#13/365--Re-Purpose

What is
...the point...
of
having
a
...laundry basket...
if
you
pile
...all the clothes...
on
top
of
it
I am
...repurposing...
this
...dirty clothes hamper...
...using it as...
my own
...personal...
valet

along with
the
...other furniture...
in
my
bedroom

...why have a closet...
guess I will
...repurpose...
that
...too...


Monday, January 12, 2015

#12/365--Oxymoron

...got this for Christmas...
from my
...Secret Santa...
(did I mention
my people know me?)

...it's finally...
...growing....?

"hair"
...on a...
"...zombie..."

seems
rather
...oxymoronic...



Sunday, January 11, 2015

#11/365--Wash and Dry

Last week
was
...strange...
with the
"burnt hand"
and
weird
chest spasms
and
headaches
and
nausea
et al.
I'm ready to
...wash...
all that away

...like the laundry...
I
am
...just ready to begin...
this week
new
fresh
clean

and
...healthy...

Friday, January 9, 2015

#9/365--Happy Day

...clouds...

and
...secret messages...

and
far-off family
...come to visit...
sitting around
...the dinner table...

and
...games with...
the
...younger brother...

...make for...
a
happy day




Thursday, January 8, 2015

#8/365--Writing Assignment #1

Where I'm From

I'm from...
wood-paneled walls
shag carpet
of
reds and oranges
sliding glass doors
...leading to...
a gameroom
with
a pool table
and
Coca - Cola - stained - glass - lights
and
Atari 2600


I'm from...
Old Spice cologne
orange circus peanuts
scratchy whiskers
tickling my cheeks
and
stacks of papers
pecking on a typewriter
moon gets you

bedtime stories
and
"Here's Johnny..."



I'm from...
small-town Arkansas
bowling alley
playing outside
...'til the streetlights come on...
Mom's whistle
brought us home
coasting down that hill
...on our bikes...
no hands

I'm from...
Christmases with family
early presents
...if you finished your dinner...
Yankee relatives
longing to hear
my southern twang
New Years with cousins
long drives back home


I'm from
actions speak louder
...than words...
and
"this too shall pass"
and
working hard
is
...valued...

and
we knew
love grew there


#7/365--Earthquakes

Felt like
God
picked up
my
...townhouse...
and
then
set it back down